The Societal Biases- Looking & Living through the lens of an average Indian
Diversity — The need of an Enriched and Fulfilled life
As an integral part to human existence every living individual on planet earth has varied ,multifold & specific needs that are intrinsic to his/her inner personality . Planet Earth has close to Eight Billion people and it is nothing short of a miracle that each one of us is distinct and separate in many ways from each other .Each one of us have diverse wants and interests spanning across a wide range of areas, be it — Intellectual ,Social , Spiritual, , Travel , Nature ,Art & Culture ,Entertainment Music, Adventure and Sports .
These multidimensional aspects add up beautifully in a way , to make the human life more colorful , complete and satisfying.
Change is the only constant in life
Human Needs have always been dynamic & a function of how the individual is positioned on the evolutionary curve at a particular point of time in life's journey. There are some basic wants (hygiene needs) which are non negotiable , while there are some that are good to have . (In India the common man has been traditionally aspiring for what is being called as Roti ,Kapda aur Makaan — meaning Food, Clothing and Shelter ) .However with passing times priorities are seen to be changing and a gradual shift is being noticed as we are moving ahead in the modern age of Internet and content boom .
The Legacy ways & norms of living
The Indian society has stayed long with several stereotypes that have somehow become a set way of life & part of its age old tradition . Some de facto standards like — Lineage , Tone of the skin ,Education , Profession , Religion , Caste , Financial Status , Language , Food Choices along with marital status have played a major role in defining the fabric of life & the position that an individual commands in the society . A person has been slotted and judged on the basis certain rigid & fixed criteria of evaluation . For example , a school dropout is mostly frowned and always looked down upon. Settling down at a particular age ( It often makes me wonder how & since when settling down and marriage have become almost synonymous 😊) is a must to go through process; with a checklist of parameters that needs to be ticked , come what it may be & at any cost (Pun Intended )
The set & much accepted social patterns have become a way of life and taken control over the common Indian for long ( Like the Britishers who ruled over us for almost a century ). The mindset has been conditioned so strongly that that any slightest deviation is ostracized and considered for exclusion as part of civilized & cultured society . It is not that these legacy norms have not played a key role to maintain the balance & progress of the society so far , but with the rapidly changing social landscape especially in last two to three decades there seems to a need to relook and accept some adjustments to accommodate the contemporary ways of living and thought process.
Stereotypes in context of Indian Mindset
Myth 1 — A person of character and integrity is supposed to partake and align to particular food type only- Food choices define the eligibility for being the person of virtue and wisdom.
In an everyday life , there are plethora of options available to sustain and maintain ones bodily and physical health. For the one pursuing a particular sports type , the requirements to build a specific body type would necessitate consumption of animal protein while someone with ascetic leanings and yogic way of life may depend on plant based diet to meet the end results .The end objective determines the path along with human temperament to accept and adjust to certain food types.
Myth 2 — Abstinence of material and bodily pleasures to achieve state of Godliness & Self Realization
Life is a journey and work in progress . No rule book can be a prescriptive mechanism to determine on how choices need to be exercised for a living entity . Guidelines do provide a generic framework but is not a mandatory way of living for all.
Myth 3 -Marriage is the Ultimate Destination — A One one way street
Marriage as an institution has different and multiple dimensions to it . Multiple experiences within this arrangement bring enrichment in totality . Ones partner may value add by offering friendship , emotional and financial support , stability and companionship , sustenance , caring and family upbringing.
But should a lack of culinary skills in your partner may become a reason to seek alternate arrangements to satiate the cravings for an appropriate taste and nutritional requirements , a corollary for consideration would be- other human needs as well ( not to be construed and misinterpreted as physical only ) if they can not be fulfilled within the ambit of & under the institution of marriage .
Myth 4- Milestones to be achieved in life are a linear function of age
Age is just a number and a person has every right to exercise the choice at each & any stage of his lifecycle if the body and spirit are willing to . The age for learning and education , skill development, or settling down into marital relationship does not have to necessarily depend on the biological age of the individual always. Everyone has his own time zone to accomplish one s aspirations . The bus has not be missed irrespective of the phase of life.
Myth 5 — One size fits all
Mistakenly we prescribe for others the same medicine that we feel suitable for us notwithstanding the fact the the choices , preferences & tastes vary from person to person . No two situations and life experiences are similar.
Left to the intelligence of the Universe , any course correction required in life's journey comes at a suitable time to aid to the development and next level of progress for that living entity . On the contrary , trying to control our lives and that of others between the starting point (birth ) and end point (death) only generates friction & causes disharmony and animosity.
Myth 6 - Choice of career streams define the destiny
Respectable and Acceptable Professions- Limited to Few
Career pursuits specific to Medicine , Engineering and Law are only means to achieve success and stability in life. Other study areas & professional choices are meant for the lesser accomplished mortals . A Masters Degree overseas is the next in thing . ( Not Discounting any of these options but life & careers can be made otherwise as well) .
In reality the measure of the human happiness index is not in direct proportion to the outcome of pursuing these professions and the associated rat race.
Myth 7- Character Certificate in Personal Life is a Big measure of Virtue & Conduct
The acceptability & respect that one derives from the ecosystem is in direct proportion to the ability to successfully tick the standard checklist. We prefer putting up a mask & safeguarding our self image and conform to the popular norms and beliefs of existence in various walks of our life. I still do remember a modest and naïve relative from my fathers side , who did not get even an ounce of value add from his marriage but had to continue with the drudgery of the marital life while not being in a position to risk the social stigma and dogmas of the society .
Happy hormones — The Key to a Healthy and Satisfied life
People with health & fitness goals prescribe to a particular diet and nutrition plan — but mostly it comes with a caveat . The sustainability & achievement of the prescribed plan is guaranteed only when the practitioner of the program is given some flexibility, wherein a provision is kept for a cheat day to satiate the taste and sensory buds . This arrangement ensures that the end result of the plan is achieved as it brings in the required motivation to keep things moving on and ahead.
Likewise a similar approach in other spheres of life can also be looked as an an aid to bring in a refreshing change from the mundane and motivate oneself to move further ahead in the pursuit of the ones life goals & journey .
The science of medicine has Allopathy, Homeopathy , Naturopathy, Ayurveda and other alternate therapies that coexist and supplement each other to provide health and cure to several ailments. Inclusivity calls for not discounting one system at the cost of another . Life sciences also fall into the same category . Diversity is the way of life.
The fall back Mechanism — The Safety Belt and cushion
In India , the traditional means of education has been the formal schooling system , colleges, university programs . In parallel , the coaching institutes , extra tuition classes , available beyond the established academic framework had been providing an additional padding to compensate for the imminent gaps in the existing model of academic framework . With both options being available to the parents & their wards, it is upto them to exercise the choice as suitable & applicable to their situation.
The fact has been — No single system by its own might has the capacity to cater to the all round requirements of a person holistically . By the same corollary , be it academics or any other arrangement ( For example — marriage as an institution) — alternate avenues have to be scoped in address and fill in those gaps/blanks if needed . The choice can be best left to the discretion of the individual . The definition of what is ethical /unethical or legitimate /illegitimate needs to be reexamined in the context of the situation and not as a general rule book .What can be a life support system for one cannot be an illegitimate matter for some one else to judge
The Healing Process — One size does not fit all
As one famous leader mentioned during India’s freedom struggle; One cannot preach freedom on an empty stomach .In the pursuit to fulfil life’s higher goals , actualization of the the basic needs have to happen first without which a life may not go to the next level of growth . A lot of psychological imbalance, mental health issues & turmoil that is seen in current times is because of increase divide and chasm between the haves and have nots.
Moreso healing works differently for different people . Some obtain the results from abstinence while some derive fulfillment by experiencing the unexplored. Like fasting is healthy , similarly eating satisfactorily to ones hearts content is also a way to remain fit and fine .Freedom to exercise the choice has to be left to the discretion & wisdom of the person as the levers for self satisfaction, contentment , gratification are not similar across the vast ocean of humanity who constitute the part of the earthly existence. My path of salvation may not be necessarily that of yours .
Unrealistic Expectations — A cause of disappointment and strife
Social stigma and taboos need to be kept aside while dealing with situations of exceptions. Inclusivity means that needs of each individual have to be looked separately .All sections of the society deserve to be treated with respect . Everyone individual deserves his /her own private space .
However we infer , judge and conclude too early .We form opinions too soon and pronounce our judgement much ahead of the workings of laws of nature and universe. Our definition of moral standards need to be revisited with a new age wisdom and perspective and not with the lens of the rule book that has been passed to us by our ancestral beliefs
The Real Measurement Criteria
Society in general needs to take into consideration the calibre of the individual to value add to the cause of community .The merit of an individual cannot be put to a question at the cost of the choices and preferences exercised in personal lives unless and until they are seen as interfering with the peaceful existence of the society at large.
Education system , Professional career and marriage as an institution provides a framework within which one gets access to a platform to commit oneself to a cause & develop one self. This doesn’t essentially have to essentially become a lifelong confinement and punishment to deal with, and a baggage to carry all along with.
For example. our professional lives are a means to fulfill our career and growth aspirations . They are the source of our livelihood and social identity .Beyond that if one feels stuck , a freedom to look at other alternatives based on our capabilities, acceptability & suitability is always open . Similar approach needs to be adopted and applied too in other spheres of our life too — Personal & social.
Food for thought
A fine balance of holding the discipline, social responsibility and moral fabric of the society has to go hand in hand while respecting diversity and by being more inclusive in our demeanor. We have to be intolerant towards the system inefficiencies , corruption and injustice around- to the shabby infrastructure, exploitation , poverty and the mind games that politicians and media play and be more flexible and tolerant towards the diverse ways of living and thinking.
When the society is diseased the nation suffers too . A society that is happy to the core is conducive to the development of the nation. The journey of harmony starts at an individual level . We have to help each other to become more complete while ensuring the interests of each living entity on the planet earth . That is the purest form of love and compassion .
As mentioned by Osho in the Essence of Yoga — “Delighted you create , in misery you destroy”
Disclaimer — The Authors point of View does not prescribe to or subscribe to any school of thought. The Author lives in a country where access to basic infrastructure like public toilets , wash rooms , rail reservation ,driving license , basic healthcare is a big challenge . Citizens live in a constrained & a deprived environment with adjustments made in all spheres of life as part of their wants — be it financial , professional , personal and emotional . The right to exercise ones choice is a distant dream for the common man in this part of the world !!
Human rights is yet to catch up in true sense , in the practical & real world here.
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